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Out of Dish Yet Perfectly True

Out of Dish gets all philosophical on your ass and informs men that if they can handle a back ache, well then bearing a child would be a breeze...

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In this week’s Out of Dish I prove it’s really true: Sasquatch does indeed exist. Also debunked is the myth that men couldn’t handle the pain if they could have babies  (uh, not that I want to find out). But first, some whacky fun from Down Under…

Rack It Those dang Aussies think of everything, like this new take on public bike parking and another use for chamois cream…

Bloggers Know Best In November there was a bit of blog discussion on allowing mountain biking on parts of the Continental Divide National Scenic Trail. In the discussion thread there was a screed by one individual who said, “Bicycles should not be allowed in any natural area. They are inanimate objects and have no rights.”

Inanimate!? Does my faithful steed not hear my exhortations!? Does she not heed my crop and share in my pain!? She comes stock with a Brain, therefore she is!

Whilst we are philosophizing, let Kierkegaard place our blogger friend’s words into perspective: “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

Our blogger buddy hits just about every, hmmm, point, including that mountain biking “kills small animals and plants on and next to the trail, drives wildlife and other trail users out of the area, and (worst of all) teaches kids that the rough treatment of nature is okay (it’s NOT!).”

Well, it is NOT! And to prove that some furry, mammal-like bi-pedal forest dwellers just aren’t gonna take it anymore, we have video…

Dare to Lose Oneself Since you are no doubt dazzled by my esoteric referencing of Kierkegaard, allow me to pull another of his quotes from my ass to introduce this next video: “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

This dude wouldn’t have lost his footing if he hadn’t done dared…

...and then go f#&k yourself!

Sciatica: Not Just Your Granny’s Back Pain At the end of the first-ever “Out of Dish,” I exhorted the faithful to “go get outta dish.”

Let’s hope you did indeed go out and put a little bend in your wheels. Taking my own advice, I went out and just got bent — by an angry sciatic nerve. After a week of teeth grinding, whimpering and hobbling around clutching my lower back, I finally made my way into the office of Sarah Berg DC to get my back trued.

Sarah is a Boulder-based Doctor of Chiropractic and is, as you may have figured out, a woman. She is a woman who has borne children and lived with a pissed-off sciatic nerve, which makes her an expert on All Things Painful.

Now Sarah may have been humoring the feeble male who shuffled into her office moaning “Oh, the pain!” But it was she, not I, who said sciatica registers higher on the Tweek-O-Meter than birthing.

For obvious reasons I am unable to weigh in on the latter. However, I am impressed with my now elevated capacity for manly suffering, which I admit was bolstered by a fruity-yet-subtle cabernet blended with some not-yet-expired Flexeril and Percocet from the stash of a office mate who shall remain anonymous.

A not-so anonymous sufferer of a herniated disc.
A not-so anonymous sufferer of a herniated disc.

The moral of this story? S-T-R-E-T-C-H. Hang loose. Shake a leg. Be flexible. Or you may wind up looking like another of my office mates who (because of the compromising and disturbing nature of this photo) shall remain anonymous… ah, what the hell. That’s “Bent” Ben Delaney rockin’ the  scoliosisistic bike racer look from a few years back due to a herniated disc.

“I probably aggravated it with lots of bike riding/racing and no core work,” Bent Ben said of his improper posture. “I thought something had popped out of joint and perhaps could be pushed back into place. I had my wife stand on my back. That wasn’t a good idea.”

So until next time, go get outta dish — but not like Ben (unless the special someone walking all over you is clad in black stilleto boots, wields a cat o’ nine tails and calls you Worm…)

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