Phil Gaimon Journal: How to win the breakfast buffet
Photos and words by Phil Gaimon
At UCI races, meals are provided to riders and staff by the organization. You’d think a buffet would be simple, but free, unlimited food — to a guy who’s been racing hard every day — can be pretty overwhelming, and it’s easy to make bad decisions when there’s a line behind you and a rumble in your stomach. After many years of messing it up, I’ve finally established the perfect breakfast routine, and wanted to share it for those who might benefit, or be entertained.
1. Coffee. (unless this happened in your hotel room already)
2. Put toast in the toaster. That way it toasts while you’re walking the buffet, and you don’t have to stand there staring at it, making small talk with other guys who planned their buffet poorly.
3. Put two packets of butter in your pocket. It’s always frozen or refrigerated. If you pocket it, it’ll be nice and soft when you get to your table. If the butter isn’t in packets, like you see above, do not put the butter in your pocket.
4. Grab a piece of cheese. This is your “walking around cheese.” You want something to nibble on while you walk. This helps you make good decisions, for the same reason you don’t go to the grocery store hungry.
5. Hit the buffet. I go oatmeal, bacon, eggs, maybe french toast with peanut butter. This part is hard to screw up.
6. Don’t get any damn rice or pasta. It’s always there, but this is breakfast, people.
7. But never take an eye off your toast. It will get stolen. Bunch of animals at these buffets.
8. Think about what you might want for later. If there’s croissant or some kind of brownie thing, you’ll feel like a genius if you wrap it in a napkin and pull it out 100k into the stage.
9. Pick up your toast. Or steal someone else’s. Whatever. It’s toast and someone else paid for it.
10. Don’t forget silverware. I’ve had many a long walk from the table back to the buffet because I didn’t notice the silverware/napkin roll.