Stories by Patrick O'Grady

• Posted: Fri, Mar 2nd
  Friday’s Foaming Rant: Percentage players die broke, too
  "Races are like films. You need actors to make them happen. The teams have all the actors, and without us there are no races." — pro-teams president Patrick Lefevere The drudgery of a daily newspaper job is starting to look pretty good these days, and not just because the ...
• Posted: Mon, Feb 26th
  Monday's Bonus Rant: Ullrich hangs up his tar-speckled jersey
  "Unlike [Lance] Armstrong, [Jan] Ullrich doesn't have the killer instinct. He's not obsessed. It's too bad. Because if you mixed the professionalism of an Erik Zabel with the talent of a Jan Ullrich, you'd have an Eddy Merckx." — T-Mobile team manager Walter ...
• Posted: Fri, Jan 19th
  Friday’s Foaming Rant: Stedenko and Clouseau, together at last
  Border guard: Your papers, please!Hippie: Sorry, man, all I got is a pipe.—A Child’s Garden of Grass I’ve heard it said that the French love Jerry Lewis movies. But anti-doping chief Pierre Bordry must be a Cheech and Chong fan, because he seems to be modeling his pursuit ...
• Posted: Fri, Dec 29th
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Holiday on ice!
  Change in the weatherChange in the weatherSomethin’s happening here. — "Change in the Weather," by John Fogerty Like everyone else, we had plans for the holidays. But ours got put on ice. Seriously. Colorado got a stone-cold one-two punch this year — a solid, snowy smack ...
• Posted: Fri, Dec 22nd
  Friday's Foaming Rant: The 2006 O'Grady Awards
  These days, the alleged humorist Patrick O’Grady is generally confined to soiling the virtual sandbox here at VeloNews.com, where subscriptions are not at risk. His "contribution" to VeloNews the magazine normally consists of an editorial cartoon so severely downsized over the ...
• Posted: Fri, Dec 1st
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Spinal rap
  So I had to go see a chiropractor in New York, and they're different to osteopaths, chiropractors, because of the spelling. And they crack your bones, that's what they do, they crack your bones! And they take X-rays, but it’s pointless, because whatever is wrong with ...
• Posted: Mon, Nov 6th
  Notes of a Dirty Old Man: Regarding reach and grasp
  The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.— Dwight Morrow, 1873-1931, in a letter to his son I caught a glimpse of the Vomit Comet on Sunday while driving out of ...
• Posted: Sun, Nov 5th
  Notes of a Dirty Old Man: O'Grady, Xilinx and 'cross
  We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.— Will Rogers You know you’re not in Colorado Springs any more when you see an Adopt-a-Highway sign reading, "NORML for Boulder." We don’t want to know what’s normal for ...
• Posted: Fri, Nov 3rd
  Friday's Foaming Rant: A dirty girl
  It’s still the same old story,A fight for love and glory,A case of do or die!The world will always welcome loversAs time goes by. — "As Time Goes By," Herman Hupfeld This isn’t much of a rant; it’s more of a rave. I love cyclo-cross. When I stumbled into this sport ...
• Posted: Tue, Oct 31st
  Tuesday's Trick-or-Treat Rant: Saiz it ain't so
  "If someone calls me up and says their toaster is talking to them, I don’t refer them to professional help, I say, ‘Put the toaster on the phone.’"—Sal Ivon, former manager of the Weekly World News Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight: Manolo Saiz is said to ...
• Posted: Fri, Oct 27th
  Friday's Foaming Rant: Oh, Colorado's calling me
  Oh, Colorado's calling meFrom her hillsides and her riversAnd her mesas and her trees.When blizzards snap the power linesAnd all the toilets freezeIn December in the Colorado Rockies.— "Colorado," by Christopher Guest, Sean Kelly and Tony Hendra, from "Lemmings" Nothing ...
• Posted: Fri, Oct 20th
  Friday's Foaming Rant: A modest proposal
  The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the Prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of ...