Plenty of you have noticed and commented upon the “Believe Tyler” ad that has been displayed elsewhere on the VeloNews.com website. Some have derided the concept as absurd or inappropriate, others have defended it as a valiant expression of support for an embattled hero, and at least one guy inquired about running his own ad for a website he called “Don’t Believe Tyler.” We’re still waiting for the check on that one.

I confess, I fell into the former group. A guy who owns houses in Boulder and Girona can probably cover his own tabs without my help, is the way I saw it. Plus I’m naturally malevolent, vicious and cruel, if only because I wish to avoid freezing to death in the dark. Human suffering is what pays the tabs around here, and we need lots more of it if my last utility bill is any indication.

But I’ve changed my mind about this whole “Believe Tyler” concept since testing positive for bullshit after my last foaming rant.

As you know, bullshit ceased to be a prohibited substance in journalism upon the debut of Fox News, but there is an upper limit on its use – the line is said to fall somewhere between Jon Stewart (small organic farm) and Bill O’Reilly (industrial feedlot) – and I have been accused of exceeding it not once, but twice.

The A sample taken after my last VeloNews.com rant tested positive at around the Robert Novak level (mad cow disease/amoebic dysentery), but the B sample was voided because an outraged letter-writer from Cleveland apparently swallowed it whole. The autopsy was inconclusive, but plenty of eyebrows were raised nonetheless, because it takes a ton of bullshit to croak an Ohio Republican.

Photo: DarylD

Then I rang the Dung-O-Meter again, this time after a post-election screed on my own website, www.maddogmedia.com. This time both A and B samples tested positive, and I abruptly abandoned political and cycling commentary with a “stomach ailment” that looked an awful lot like a bottle of Bushmills. At least I’m not accused of having someone else’s bullshit in my bullshit, if you don’t mind overlooking the traditional stolen quote at the top.

Frankly, I was at a loss as to how to proceed. I was looking at a two-year suspension – head down, over a barbecue pit, somewhere in the Old Confederacy – and for the first time in my career, I considered retiring, which was a frightening indication of my precarious mental state, considering that I haven’t had a job to retire from since 1991.

And then, I remembered that “Believe Tyler” button.

I’d first seen it at Interbike, and thought it was just another bout of delirium tremens from the nightly Scotch poisoning that is central to trade-show ritual among the Bicycle Retailer & Industry News crew. But I kept seeing them, worn by all kinds of people, and the lines for Tyler’s autograph were longer than the free-beer queues.

When I saw the “Believe Tyler” button again, this time on the VeloNews.com site, linked to a fund-raising website, and took note of just how much attention it was getting, I knew I’d found the way out of my troubles.

So today, I’d like to formally announce the creation of the “Believe O’Grady” website, which will happily take your generous donations, both large and small, but preferably large, until further notice. Maybe John Kerry can kick down a little of the leftover $15 million still cluttering up his little hope chest. I’m not proud – I’ll take money from anyone, especially if it means I’ll never have to write another word for money – other than my own name on the back of a fat check, that is.

What? Clear my name? I’m not trying to clear my name here. I just want some money– a lot of money, to be precise. And in pursuit of that sacred goal, I vow to spend every penny I have, just as long as I get every dollar you have.

This just in: After a careful examination of the recently concluded presidential election, the FCC has concluded that it has become pointless to try to police the use of bovine exhaust in public debate, and O'Grady has as a consequence been absolved of all wrongdoing. "Nobody reads this website, not even us," said an agency spokesman. "But if he ever manages to get himself on TV and uses the Bono word or has a 'wardrobe malfunction,' we'll fine him to death." Send your words on the topic, Bonoesque or otherwise, to webletters@insideinc.com.